Life's Shifts

So all, I must take the time to formally appoligize for not posting anything in a month. Life's shifting once again for me----no longer in Florida, my computer charger has passed into the next life and I still haven't replaced it yet, and only have very slow dial-up on my house computer in Ironton. Yes, I am back in the armpit of the universe. Maybe it is more like a black hole, sucking matter up and crushing it. Clearly, the polluted Tri-state air is getting to me! I need a break.

I'm gonna make this brief as I am at the Lawrence County Public Library and a few weirdos are around me. This picture is the Lawrence County Court House in the fine little town of Ironton where I grew up. The Ohio River is behind the buildings and the hills in the background are in Kentucky.

My reason for leaving Florida was that my housing fell through very suddenly. I needed to get out and the family I was living with needed their normal routine back. So here I am now, back in good ol' Ironton, home of Tanks Memorial Stadium, crackheads and methlabs. Hey, where else can you go to a gas station and ask for a party pack only to be handed a brown paper bag filled with a Chore-boy (filter), tire gauge(crack pipe) and lighter (fire it up)? None other than the tri-state area of OH, KY and WV.

Right after I got back a few weeks ago I was totally lost and didn't know what to do with my time. My foot was feeling much better so I went to Athens, OH, after two days of being h0me to relive some college life. Yeah, definetely not in college anymore. I felt like an old lady and pe0ple looked at me weird at the bars (maybe that was just me feeling weird and imagining things). Or maybe not.

Anyway, the next day I started training with the Red Cross to be deployed down South to help with Katrina relief efforts. I put in two full days of training and now am just waiting. Quite honestly I'm not a very patient person and would like to be sent already for my three weeks of super-volunteering. Also I need to start studying for the GRE as I want to go back to grad school, maybe Peace Corp. So that is my life right now in a nut shell----Oh, and I have been washing cars for my dad, hiking at Lake Vesuvius and started running again. Not so bad I guess.

Overall, life is good. I'm trying to make the best out of my time here though I am greatly saddened by the fact that I left Florida without haveing confessed my undying love for Vinny Lecavalier. Oh well, That's Life as Frankie Sinatra fades into the background...

Crutching Around On Life's Great Rollercoaster
The past few weeks have had both highs and lows. Well right now I'm on a low. Last night while trying to improve my health (yes, I am still running on a regular basis and consider the noise made by punching my thigh now---a sound well deserved) by playing tennis, I fell to the ground while going for one of those devilish backhands. After the cursing and as I continued to lay on the ground moaning in pain, my partner realized this was no joke. The tears came, shortly after I got the shoe off and saw how my normally delicate ankle had magically transformed into the size of a tennis ball. But this wasn't what made me cry. Oh no. It was realizing that as a result of my ankle being the size of a tennis ball I would have to go to the hospital to see just what damage I had done WITH NO HEALTH INSURANCE. As this thought crossed my mind, I began whaling and proceeded to go into hysterics over this minute detail.

Of course, the male nurse would just so happen to be an exquisite piece of man (with a wedding band, damnit) and try to make me laugh in my state of shock of the realization of huge bills I would have to face in my jobless state. I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up, especially when he asked when my last period was, my reply being current, and he laughs and says, "I was waiting for that. Full moon, drags it out of everyone." Life is sweet, isn't it? Nothing like crying in front of a hot male nurse, telling him about my period, and then for him to joke about it.

But the evening got better when I was informed that it was just a sprain. Overall this was better though I then was mad that I had wasted my tears and money on a pointless hospital visit.

This sprain brings me to the topic of my unpaid internship job-thingy. Obviously, I won't be at work for a week as I can't drive. Normally, I would enjoy time off, but not when I can't move around or even stand up for a shower. Work has brought the excitement in my life up a few notches though on the weekends because of the events that I have worked.

On September 11th, I got to work the Foo Fighters/Weezer show that had about 11,000 in attendance. My job was to direct media/press to the press box or photographers to the pit (in front of the stage between stage and first row) for shots. I not only direct them there, but make sure they only shoot during the songs they are approved for-with Foo/Weezer, this was the first three songs of each of their sets. When I am not doing this, I'm allowed to watch the show. After all media was gone after first few songs of Foo Fighters, I was allowed to relax and watch from backstage on the side of the stage (where they switch out guitars and such).

I ended up talking to these two guys who had backstage passes on and were rockin out to the show. They ended up being Dave Grohl's best friends that grew up with him and were just traveling, enjoying the beginning of the tour. Not so bad right? Then they asked me to go back to the dressing room after the show to party a bit and hang out. The next thing I know, I am walking past Dave Grohl with his jeans leg rolled up wearing some great red high-top cons, getting his leg checked out for an injury from the night before while performing. Clearly it is safe bet to say this is a step up from the GROPER and Bricktown 54. Beer with hot best friend (Craig) of Dave Grohl while Foo Fighters are all hanging out around us. Yes. I'll give it three notches up at least.

I was hanging out with Craig, as I mentioned, very hot, very successful (civil engineer), very down-to-earth and lives in Florida. One of the other guys, Dale, was hysterically funny and drunk. After smacking a drunk 21-year-old-ass and looking at her underwear he proceeded to ask about mine. When I told him he couldn't look at it, he laughed, stepped back, and called me the nice girl, the marrying type. Craig then laughed, and said, "Now watch him walk away." As Dale backed away, Craig went into the details of how Dale's nickname Swoop (which was tatooed on his upper thigh, he so gladly dropped his pants to show me) came to be. Had something to do with Dale "swoopin" in on the ladies. After hanging out a bit more, security gave us the boot and said it was time to move along to the busses.

I ended up walking out with Dale, Tim (Dave's Cousin), Craig and Dave Grohl. Dale looked over at me as we were walking and said, "Well, look who ended up on the top shelf-the nice girl. I like you." Then Craig proceeded to ask me to come with them to Houston, where the next show was, on the busses. Of course I would do the responsible thing and say no-I had no clothes with me, tooth brush, money, and more importantly, no way back to St. Petersburg from Houston. Craig said Tim didn't have a way back either but I couldn't take the chance. So Craig got my number and I went home with a little star buzz.


The following week, I got to sing Hey Jude with Paul McCartney...along with 18,000 other people in the crowd. The show (I caught about half of it after my media directing was over) was sick awesome. The man can perform and really feeds off of his audience. After over 40 years of it, I would feel bad for the person that couldn't.

Yes, Sir Paul is no longer the young chap that won the hearts of millions of young girls that watched the Beatles debut on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1964, over four decades ago. He is now wrinkled, such a strict vegetarian that his crew can't even eat meat or they will be fired and dies his hair brown. Though he may be large enough to get away with all of these unattractive attributes, those who have to work backstage when he is in the area get looks of disgust as they know they will have to cater to his everyday rich, famous, outragous needs. Oh well, at least he still does many of the old songs and not all new stuff that no one knows or cares about that much. This makes it tolerable (and most people don't know he's an asshole behind the scenes.) All you need is love right? Hah, even Paul isn't living in the sixties anymore and his dressing room needs prove it.

So work may be boring, secretarial nastiness that I don't get paid for, but it does clearly have its perks. If nothing else comes out of my Florida experience, I can at least say that I partied with Rock Stars and sang with Paul McCartney.

On an ending note, I wanted to let everyone know who I share an office with, which makes for a loud and eventful day usually. Filled with MTV, bad music for the most part and calls being taken on speaker phone everytime. Hey, what else could I expect for sharing an office with the Stanley Cup Champions Mascot, Thunderbug??? He is an awesome guy though and makes the day fun at least. I had my first Hooters experience with him the other day for lunch. And as he is incharge of the cheerleader-style lightning girls for the team, he knew all of the girls that worked there!

Also, this is my future husband, not to mention one of the best damn players in the NHL right now and a Stanley Cup Champion. Straight out of Quebec, French speaking and all--Vinny Lecavalier, #4. Next week Lighting Hockey practice comes to the Forum so I have to be recovered in order to be in the building to meet the future father of my children. See, he likes kids! Wish me luck ;)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun-We DONT want to be groped by Nasty men
So, yes, the Groper came into my life suddenly and much to my unexpected disgust. The Friday when I FINALLY got to go out on the big town of Clearwater at Bricktown 54, I got to meet a few people and dance. I cut it up to some classic fab tracks such as 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "It's Raining Men". Cindi, of course, will always have a special place in my heart. But with every high there is a low supposedly, right? Well, my low was the pool guy I was set up with dry humping me on the dance floor. Oh, how jealous can everyone be? I imagine the envy waves that are beaming towards me right at this moment as this is being read.

To make a horrible experience short, Pool Boy decides he wants to sleep on the futon with me at the couples's house I went out with to the club where I planned on staying for the evening after my Jaeger and cheap tequila soaked in all of the way. My solution to this was to go to sleep immediately as to avoid any unwanted situations. I thought I was safe as the babysitter of the three children was in the same room on the couch. NO-WRONG. I wake up in the middle of the night to being majorly groped by this pool guy. Hence, The Groper! Not once, but twice! Then after the second time I tell him to stop, trying to be quite all the while to not wake and freak the 12-year-old babysitter out, he actually has the nerve to ask me if he can kiss me! What a nightmare! I can't say I was pleased. When 7am rolled around, my ass was out of there.

After complaining about not having anything to do for soooo long and finally this is what I get-A Pool Boy Groper in the middle of the night with a coy fish tattoo. Sweet ass luck I've got. Didn't Janet Jackson write a song once about men such as this once before????


"I'm not a prude, I just want some respect
So close the door if you want me to respond
Cause privacy is my middle name
My last name is control
No, my first name ain't baby,
It's janet... ms. jackson if you're nasty"

-Janet Jackson, "Nasty"

Like Rodney Dangerfield, I can't get no respect!

Started 10 days ago and never finished but worth while

So the past five days or so have been monumental in my new life in the sunshine state. I started my new job and I went out for the first time since in Florida (this story will come in the next post). Incredible right? Well, not so much. But be patient as the stories of the week unfold.

Thursday I started my new internship with the Forum. I was taken around and introduced, given my security key-i.d. card and shown what I will be doing. During concerts my job is to show the media around which is usually only the first few songs. After they are gone I am free to watch the show.

On Friday I went in to help one of the girls I work with get caught up on some grunt work (labeling 5000 postcards with addresses. I practically died of boredom-wow, i love gopher work.) and get more acquainted with the marketing aspect of the job. Hung posters to promote events and such. Honestly, it's better than being stuck behind a desk all day long. At least I get to move around throughout the day. I worked half of a day and was sent home for lack of better things to do.

The latter part of Friday though is where my drunken Florida experience begins though....Continued in the following addition

A little sneak peak at what the next post will deal with...The Groper!!! dun-dun-dun (build up scarry music)

This is one of the greatest things I have seen in a while. Click here to enjoy.

Tomorrow I Grow Up
Well, exactly one month since my arrival and I have accomplished one of the things I set out to do: I am employed. Just the day after my interview with the St. Pete Times Forum crew and I got the call saying they wanted me for their marketing internship. Needless to say I am extremely excited and ready to learn all about my new position. It may not be a job job job but I am certainly hoping it will lead me to a much better job afterwards then I could have gotten now without it. This will take me down a path very different that one that would resemble life in Office Space. Guaranteed, I would end up in my cubicle mumbling something to myself about my stapler.

So these next three months I will get to decide if I like marketing. Maybe it will be the thing I want to pursue for a career but then again, maybe not. Regardless, it's a start because Magazine Journalism wasn't getting me anywhere. I also think I'm more of a people person than just magazine jour and with my internship I will get a variety of experience in PR, marketing and advertising. Sounds very creative. Ohhhh, and I will get to watch the Tampa Bay Lightning games in an area where I wouldn't have to worry about getting hit in the face with a hockey puck (my great fear of the game) I was told in my interview. They also won the Stanley Cup last so this season should be pretty much sold out. Sounds like the job will have its perks. It had damn well better as I am not getting paid a DIME. I may be wearing my Anne Taylor wardrobe now to my job but not have enough money to buy toothpaste or gas to get to Tampa.

Gasoline brings me to the subject of my little silver Honda Civic. The car is officially mine so that means I have to officially start paying my own car insurance. Yes, I have had the luxury of not doing this until just now but....my father does have a car lot making it cheap for him to get me insurance. That is up until now when I have to pay for it myself. I went to get insurance today and found that I have to pay $150 + per month just for liability for the little Civ. At my age the only way to lower the rate to get an adult rate would be to get a good student discount(just finished the five full years of college-no more for the moment), the more drastic pop out a kid or marriage. Kids and marriage will automatically get any female rates for an adult no matter the age. But I put myself through five years of college, come out with a degree, no marriage or kids and I'm the one who is not considered an adult and is more of a risk. Why is everything in the world so ass backwards?

On this note it is time for bed. Job tomorrow, crazy shoe shopping for job I forgot to mention and outrageous insurance makes for a stressful day. Needless to say, I ran this evening.

My SUPER life
Monday: (the day after I was considering going to church to meet some super sluts and then realized that I don't need friends bad enough to go to church even to find the wild church-goers). To bring everyone up to date it calls going back to the day after my first post. I received rather welcoming news that my friend Anne had a friend coming to the area for the weekend. Of course at hearing the news I was dumbstruck at the idea of having a pseudo weekend friend and plans so I immediately called her. She confirmed that yes, she would be coming on Saturday to St. Petersburg from Orlando, and we could go out in St. Pete for some live music and drinks. Sounded too good to be true----me---have a night on the town????!!!!!?! I feared if these plans would come through then I would get so inebriated I would throw up all of the drinks I had waited so long to get in Florida. Well, my luck, as I sat at a great Thai dinner with the fam, I get the news that no, Abby- you will not be going out and have a puking good time. So I went running instead.

At least with my boring life I have for the first time in my life started running on a regular basis. For me this is not an easy task. Running is not one of those things I enjoy, as I hate being out of breath. Always about halfway through my run I wish people could come and wisk me away to a place where breathing hard does not exist. The worst part about when I work out is the color my face turns. RED. I'm not talking, just a little bit of blood flowing, I'm mean, it looks like my head is going to explode. That is basically how it feels too. It has felt good to run though and easy to gage my distance. The place where I live is a circle that is .5 of a mile around so a few times does the trick for me just starting out.

After the Saturday night disappointment and run, I woke up on Sunday feeling lethargic and bored. The day drug on and on until finally dinner arrived. During the day I had a bit of a disagreement with Susan about some moral/family values issues--a.k.a.-gays are not part of any of these three words. Maybe that is being a bit harsh but from my liberal standpoint, it's not easy for me to understand those who don't want equal rights for others. Leave it up to your higher being to judge those who so thoughtlessly want to marry and to create the pivotal point of corruption in United States. Amen.

To let off some steam and get out of the house I decided to take a walk on the beach to watch the sunset. Avoiding the dead puffer fish and parrot fish from the red tide was only a small distraction as I watched the sun sizzle into tomorrow. This definitely helped to calm my nerves and prepare me for my Monday interview for an internship with the St. Pete Times Forum that would be in promoting, advertising, public relations and marketing for the concert and NHL venue.

Parking at the forum was more nerve wracking than the interview itself. I attempted to get into the parking garage but the long jointed arm refused to budge for me so I parked on the street in a 30 minute meter spot. The interview went well other than the fact that I won't be paid for forty hours a week, four weeks a month, for three to four months. So it goes. But to top it off (don't get me wrong, it would and will be an amazing opportunity when for me when the offer me the internship later in the week--and i really appreciate it), I walked back to my car to find that my meter had run out two minutes before I got out of my interview and I had been issued a 25 dollar ticket. So not only do I not get paid for the internship, but it cost me $25.00 just to interview. Excellent start in Tampa.

But....I'm keeping my head up. (I did get lost directly after the meeting and ticket incident trying to find a mall, but who's counting hits and misses, huh?) Maybe I'll meet a super star on my internship to whisk me away from all of this to a place where dreams really do come true. Until that day arrives, I'm going for a run.